Dec 7, 2013

Hating the feeling of loving you more than myself

Yes, I hate it. When I felt that I started loving you more than myself, I cried louder, and louder. Once I promised myself that I will not love anyone more than myself. Though, it was difficult, I practiced, i succeeded, and still trying to do the same.

For a while, I cooked for myself. I groomed myself. I shopped for myself. I laughed for myself.... and I lived for myself. I became quite a happy person for some time of my life. I loved to see the green world around me. I loved the smile of my face.  I started admiring the happiness of others. I was happy, very happy. This is all I wanted, I desired....I am HAPPY....

But my promise now seems broken. I hate it. I hate it the most. I am unable to control my tears rolling out of my blank eyes. I don’t have much desire in life. I wanted to love ‘Myself’ the most but I am failing once again. Once again. I have started loving someone more than my soul. I have started thinking of somebody before I think of myself. I started caring somebody more than I care for myself. My concern is bigger for somebody, than for myself. I don’t want all these to happen, once again. Nobody can actually learn my pains. Nobody can walk my path wearing my shoes.
The pain, the pleasure, the part of life – I am destined to live.